Thursday, October 04, 2012

The Flow of Life is Often Unkind

Grief.  If we are human, we all share in this most painful of human situations.  Grief is both intensely personal and universally shared.  Grief can cripple us.  It can also make us stronger once the initial pain has waned.  Gather enough years on this planet and it can accumulate like a gathering cloud that  is always threatening our horizons.

It is often said by those experiencing grief that no one can know their pain.  We may not be able to feel the specific grief they are experiencing, but most of us know the process.  It is never pleasant.  It is never kind.  But it is often necessary I think for us to remain sane.  Grief is so much part of our experience, it has been analyzed and broken down into 5 clean clinical stages.

We do our best to shelter our wee ones from it's grip, often providing too much shelter so that when they have to face that first truly sad moment of loss, they are ill prepared to deal with it.  I think explaining death to a child is harder than discussing sex with them.  How does one prepare a child for the emotional pain that eventually visits all of us?

I only bring this up today because of a recent accident that took the life of a young girl in Sanford.  She was struck and killed while riding her bike on Main St.  I did not know her or her family.  I did however know some of the loved ones her death affected the most.  The tragedy brought back wounds I am still dealing with from my recent past and beyond.  My first feelings of empathy for the family turned inward and suddenly I was re-living the pain of my own losses from years before.  Best friends, family members, and most recently a niece all came rushing back.

I sat on a big stone out in the yard and allowed myself the freedom to cry.  After a few moments I felt embarrassed though no one was there to witness this less than manly display.  "Fer Chrisakes Mike, get a grip, you don't even know this child," I told myself.  But the pain would not go away.  And one more time I had to allow a few grieving moments to my previous tragic moments to again work through the filters that keep me sane.

I may not know your pain, but believe me when I say I know how it works.

Keep it 'tween the ditches...................................
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Image by Gabriela Sanchez - entitled "Grief"

4 comments:

DaveH said...

Yup...

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

some times I cry at the weirdest time and about the strangest things..I am notorious for being all weepy over tv shows..news reports..the suffering of others when they have lost someone..some times I think I am a tear drop away from crying about anything..and not sure that's a bad thing.

BBC said...

Grief is something that is seen and handled by others in many different ways. It's a very complex emotion, like love.

The Blog Fodder said...

We may not be able to feel the specific grief they are experiencing, but most of us know the process.

Yes, we sure do; each and every one of us have been there and bought the t-shirt. We handle it differently is all.