Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Great Man's Downfall

I think I have finally figured it out.  It had been bothering me for quite awhile.  But after stumbling upon the photo to the Right, the pieces began to fall into place.

First some background.............

He was raised to be a good Conservative in a family whose Conservative values stretched back through the years more than a few generations.  His family affluence provided him with the nurturing atmosphere of privilege and he wanted for nothing.  All that was expected of him was to go forth into the World and do his best to, as historian Gregory Schneider put it, "Defend Western civilization from the challenges of modernist culture and totalitarian governments".

He went to all the right schools, met all the right people (Conservatives of course), married, had children, and proceeded to find his place in the World.  It was determined fairly early on he had no nose for business.  What else was there for a good Conservative to put his mind to but politics.  After all, the way had been paved by his family and their years long involvement in National politics.

He started out small in a big state.  His success there impressed the movers and shakers entrusted with bringing America back to its roots of God fearing Conservatism.  They saw in him a chance to turn around 8 years of Liberal sabotage at the hands of a semi pink philanderer.  They pushed him, prodded him and through creative vote counting courtesy of his brother,  managed to place him at the helm of the USS America.  May God shed his light on thee.

So what happened?  Why, with all the pedigree, all the support, all the connections, did this once fine Conservative become a pariah in his own movement?   Instead of decreasing the size of government, he allowed it to grow.  Instead of pinching pennies and keeping the deficit under control, he invaded other countries and spent money like a good Democrat.  Oh he tried to keep up appearances by appearing somewhat dim and disconnected like many of his peers seem to love.  But something had happened behind the scenes.  Some insidious moment, some Left Wing influence, some evil from the progressive side had infiltrated his soul.

When I came upon the above photo, I figured it out.  He was seduced by one of the darker evils from the Left.   He became an avid cyclist.   He didn't just ride a bike for the positive polling a kodak moment on a bike might bring.  The man fell in love with riding a bike.  And to make matters worse, he did not stop at the almost okay anal retentive roadie stage, like so many of his peers seemed to think was acceptable.  He became a mountain biker.  A type of cycling whose roots go directly to the hippie dippy pot smoking whackoes of Marin County in California.  It is a known fact that all mountain bikers either smoke pot and think war is stupid, or they have smoked pot in the past and don't mind if others do.  Even if they support war now, at one time, they did not.  In other words, mountain bikers embody the worse kind of Liberalism - Live and let live.  They have been known to get drunk or stoned and ride naked.  They will often pull off the trail to share a doob and a clif bar.  They use terms right out of the 1960s and 70s - Dude, Stoked, Gnarly - all words of subversion, every one.

So folks and whoever else might catch this,  please find in your hearts some compassion for this man.  What he thought was but an innocent diversion and healthy activity was actually a commie conspiracy to undermine his efforts to turn back the clock to when America was greater than even it thought it was.  Forgive him his fall from grace and understand now how sneaky those Liberals really are.

13 comments:

Kulkuri said...

This explains a lot, I have a mountain bike, but what bothers me is to be compared to aWol!! Altho I don't do hardcore off-road biking, mostly just ride to the mailbox and back.

okjimm said...

Word I heard is he is organizing a bike ride across Iraq....kinda like RAGRAI..... ONLY... you get to pick up IEDs for souvenirs

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Whoa! I'm glad you told me about this. I was wondering why or how GWB was such a squish.

Tom Harper said...

Somebody obtained GWB's iPod. Groups he listens to while cycling include the Grateful Dead, Country Joe, Black Sabbath and the Velvet Underground.

susan said...

Everybody knows cycling is a subversive activity.

Mr. Charleston said...

By Jove you've got it Crum. Let's not forget his pot smoking, coke snorting past. Then... he married a school teacher and the whole thing went to hell.

BBC said...

Frankly, I don't get aggressive biking.

MRMacrum said...

Kulkiri - I have a feeling no one would hold that against you. And any excuse to ride a bike is a good excuse.

okjimm - I heard he really wanted to sponsor the ride while he was still President, only it was the country next to the east.

El Cerdo Ignatius - If there is a problem in this country, the cause can always be traced back to a Liberal. And let's face it, Liberals know how to have fun and occasionally they suck an unsuspecting Conservative into their web of perversion and evil.

Tom Harper - Black Sabbath? Now I understand.

susan - Yes cyclists can be damn silly. I used to go to a national mountain bike race held every summer in Vermont. The best part was the nude bike race in the dark in one of the parking lots.

Mr Charleston - Yeah, his youth was filled with many wild oats.

BBC - Aggressive biking? I have never considered it aggressive. More like taking on an obstacle course and coming out unscathed.

Randal Graves said...

Dude, I'm so stoked at this gnarly revelation.

Hey there Mr. Tom, don't be lumping the Dead in with the almighty Sabbath, you heathen.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

If there is a problem in this country, the cause can always be traced back to a Liberal. And let's face it, Liberals know how to have fun and occasionally they suck an unsuspecting Conservative into their web of perversion and evil.

Your convincing eloquence has me wanting to demonstrate for no nukes, socialized medicine, gun control, high taxes, more social spending, and... and...

Hey! Wait a minute here...

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I need some aspirin.

A Midnight Rider said...

I have always been a conservative and have never voted Republican. Conservatives are not all knuckleheads. It just seems that way because the knuckleheads have co opted conservatism and turned it into foolishness.

MRMacrum said...

Randal - It's all the Devil's music. All of it.

El Cerdo Ignatius - Seeing as you live in Canada, you don't have to demonstrate for nirvana, you already live there.

YELLOWDOG GRANNY - But you want something else - right?

A Midnight Rider - In today's co-opted Conservative movement, you would not be considered conservative having just admitted what you admitted. But you are right, what they call conservatism now is anything but. It is something else.

I lean both ways depending on the issue.