Two Fisted Mama - Part Two of a Two Part Day

What do you do on a day you had no expectations of other than to just get through it?  Neither good vibe nor bad greeted me this AM when my eyes popped open at 5:00 AM.  I awoke expecting the same ole same ole.  What I got was a day that did not even come close to  unfolding in the typical routine most days unfold.  Yes, today was not one of those nonedescript days that glue the weeks together, mold the months into years, and become the cement that holds a life together.  Today stands out against all those run of mill, pack fodder days that fill the voids between the highs and lows that comprise most of my life.

Hmm...............................................................An odd thought here......Maybe just losin it or maybe just outside the box a step or two................But isn't everyday a day I will never experience again as long as I live?  I guess so.  Seems logical if one adheres to conventional thoughts scientific regarding the notion of Time and how it passes.  Yeah, if you agree with the antichrists of MIT.....................................Wait a minute.................................

.............Time for another beer.  Time for a break.  Time to take a breath.  Time to Reset.  Need a moment to gather myself - Collect my shit.  Regain some control ferchrisakes.  People are watchin, keepin tabs, making notes and checking off all the appropriate boxes while whispering, "Tsk Tsk, Tsk."

~*~    ( < denotes a moment of reflection - a time out)

I woke up this morning,  ................... I woke up this morning, ................on the thirtieth anniversary, the thirtieth celebration, ......... of the day, of the day................. I made a serious committment to another human being.  Probably the most serious committment I had made or will ever make happened thirty years ago today.

I promised to hang around til one of us kicked, died, left, or faded away.  Serious shit dude.  I was serious thirty years ago.  Tonight, well, not so serious, but I appreciate what I promised so long ago.  Even after four or five, maybe six beers and who knows how much red wime.

Okay, nevermind that shit.  This gettin all meta-physia-subjective, intensely introspective and mildly respective of personal, mundane aspecttives of the day I just had.  But come on now, every day isn't the party it was when I was 19......................Not even close.  But every day, well................every day I am alive is one I will never see again.   Come midnight, it's Hasta  Loo-eego.  Tomorrow or later tonight - the same ole shit.

And isn't that why I am here?  Here in front of you, on your screen?  To log in another day I will maybe regret, but because I wrote it down, will never forget?

Of course it is.  There was less than little doubt, not even a question raised in token resistance.  The day unfolded like the most recent Pats game, 39 to 7.  Mike thought he was on top.   Then the Jets sucked some Dolphin ass.  And Mike blasted off.

~*~   ( < note- another interlude without qualudes, preludes, but nursing a pleasant, tiny snarl on my lip kiss my ass attitude )

So I woke up this morning.  After a reasonble intake of caffiene, I sat down and poured out a fictional piece about how I felt on my thirtieth wedding anniversary.  It felt good.  It soothed me and snuffed any concerns about this day I had when I went to bed.  Posted it and got on with the rest of my day. 

Crispo showed up around 10.  Had the new wiring in place and nailed down by Twelve.  That Crispy, well, the man knows his way around the electrical world.  Had my new circuit stylin so fast, sitting pretty, I had plenty of time to gussey up for the neighborhood Jolly Ho Ho shindig scheduled to take off around Two..

Headed down to Sue and Brendan's place 'bout two-oh-five.  Sucked down some fine red wine, then swapped off and inhaled a few beers.   Just locals from close by.  Just some folks, I should know better but don't.  

Easy times, conversing with like minded local yokels.  Pot luck delectable edibles dwindling fast on the kitchen table.  No politics.  A smidgeon of religion but no whining about our individual struggles and hard times.  Just how ya doin, I'm doin fine - please pass me some wine time.

The Pats and the Bears kicked off round 4.  By Halftime, it was a lock.  Neither Snow, sleet, nor rain was gonna stop the Pats from knocking the blocks off the Bears to stay on top.  Came home, sat down here.  Right here with some new Blues and another beer.

~*~

And suddenly or maybe just finally he is getting to the point - I remember why I even sat down to share the fine day I just had. 

Thirty years is not chump change.  Thirty years in a life will leave a dent.  And though I am bent, wrinkled and somewhat ragged around my edges, I look at the woman seated next to me most nights at supper and know she has been there right by my side or damn close by.  I cannot know how she truly feels about me.  All I have are the moments and brief conversations she has chosen to toss my direction.

When I weigh the pluses and minuses of dedicating thirty years to this lady, I know of all her fine qualities, it's her two fisted manner, her no bullshit way of not suffering me and the foolishness I am prone to engage in that endears her to me the most.  I would get all corny and love droolin and call her my rudder, my sanity guide.  But I can't.  I can't call her that.  But I will say this............................

...............She will surely tell me when I have run my bow hard up on the shore.  Nothing grounds a guy better than pointing out the obvious.
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Later............................................................