Sunday, March 07, 2010

FFF #23 - Duck & Mouse

It's Flash Fiction Friday time again. This week the starter sentence had options.

"I/He/She/It/They/(place name here) had to kick out the back window to escape."

I chose to once again poke fun at some sacred American icons. Not sure why. Maybe it was because I was banned for life from Disney World back in 1977 for smoking pot on the monorail with members of Black Oak Arkansas and crew. But I think it is just because I really love Mickey and friends. I grew up with them and this is my way of letting them know that I know movie stars are human too. They have the same needs we all do, even if they only have four fingers on each hand.

Duck & Mouse

Duck had to kick out the back window to escape.

As Mickey and his henchmen poured in the front gate.

"The Duck has to pay", Mickey declared.

"Get Him. Kill him. Before it's too late."

Donald thought he was clever, so clever he smiled

"Mickey you're an idiot. Minnie loved it. No way it was rape."

Just then Mickey ran into that back room with a view

Saw Duck on the window balanced, ready to screw

Dug deep in his pocket for some ammo to reload

To avenge Minnie's honor, killing Duck before he hit the road.

Duck just cackled and flipped Mouse the bird

"Tell me something Mickey, just what good sir, what is the good word?"

"You defiled poor Minnie, your ass is mine now"

"You loser, you clown, you feather brained turd."

But Duck did not hear him, he had leapt to the ground

Flew the coop, took a powder

Falling four floors tends to make for a very ugly sound.

Mickey rushed the window, still hoping to shoot

Leaned out, looked down and saw it was moot.

For Duck was sprawled flat, splat, like a collapsed top hat

Stone dead on the concrete, expired........ nightie night.

"Well my work here is done", Mickey declared with puffed chest.

Went home, grabbed a beer, headed to bed for some rest

Instead found his woman, the mouse of his dreams

In bed with that damn Goofy and ecstatic in mid scream.

As You Were............................


Übermilf said...

See, I always thought Daisy was the slut. It's always the one pretending to be "good."

CJT said...

LMAO! This was hilarious! The rhyming really made it even funnier...

I can't believe you were banned for life from Disney World... I've been banned from a Denny's (for having a tobasco eating contest). What great memories...

Crybbe666 said...

Reminds me of the joke about Minnie & Mickey in divorce court.

What a fun read. CJT is right about the rhyming making it even funnier.

Beach Bum said...

Mickey has always been a rat to me no matter what he called himself. Oh crap, I bet now they will put be on the Disney no entry list.

Great story Mike!

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Hahahaha!!! Great story, Mike.

Maybe it was because I was banned for life from Disney World back in 1977 for smoking pot on the monorail with members of Black Oak Arkansas and crew.

1. That's awesome.
2. I bet if you showed up again, you'd get through the gate without being recognized.

Beach Bum said...

Ignatius, being a full-fledged Disney geek my family and I go a lot to Disney World but I did see something one time that might make Mike's statement about being banned not so far-fetched.

There has always been rumors about Disney's security being high speed but one morning during the opening of the Magic Kingdom my family and I were in the middle of the crowd as it streamed in. About half way down Mainstreet USA a group of five guys and one person who looked like some corporate suit merged into the crowd and intercepted a guy and his wife/girlfriend not to far in front of us.

As my family and I passed I heard them ask the guy his name and then grab their arms and "guided" them out of the streaming crowd to disappear inside one of the stores.

I did see the corporate suit holding a paper printout with what appeared to be a picture on it although I did not see it clearly.
Might have been nothing but it sure looked like some sort of a bust.

Deegan Stubbs said...

This was great! Very original and smart!
Love the art, too!



MRMacrum said...

Ubermilf - Well now you know the truth.

CJT - It was a real hoot to write. And yes I was banned for life. Disney cops have very strict guidlines about pot smoking it appears.

Crybbe666 - Gasp! You mean I am not the only one who dares to step across the line.

Beach Bum - Just wear your helmet and carry a flag and I am sure you will have no problem getting in.

El Cerdo Ignatius - I have no clue if I would. I am not even sure if I would want to be allowed entry. Being considered a bad boy by Disney is almost as good as being refused entry into a church.

Deegan Stubbs - Not having any one Genre or style under my belt yet, I tend to play with the possibilities and hope it works out. No matter what, I am building a library of work that is uniquely me, no matter what others may think.

Thanks to all for your comments - I am glad you enjoyed it.

Randal Graves said...

This is easily my favorite Disney story of all time.

The Blog Fodder said...

Mickey sued for divorce because Minnie was fuckin' goofy.

David Barber said...

Excellent work Mike. Loved it. Very, very funny stuff. I got barred from a pub once but Disney Land....

Regards, David.