Preface - I was really going to try to be upbeat and find humor somewhere for this, my comeback post. But frankly, I feel like shit and have felt like shit for far too long now to put on a happy face. Skip this post. I would understand. But I do try to bring honesty to my blog and what follows is honest if nothing else.
Making light of, or possibly worse, ignoring unpleasant truths about myself is okay when they are nothing but odd eccentricities that help to support my individuality. But denying or blowing off the truths of my health have definitely been counterproductive. It certainly could be assumed that my denial of medical facts has only exacerbated the problem. Yes, dealing with it by not dealing with it and hoping it will go away is not working. I admit this now for all to see.
I have to face up to the chronic problem that has been building for the last 36 years of my life. I have to admit to myself that the health I took for granted is slowly turning on me. Without active and enthusiastic counter measures the years I have left will number far fewer than I would like to have. The doctors tell me there are measures I can take. But their inability to conclusively pin down just what those measures are only make the ones they mention seem like throwing darts at a dartboard.
My immune system doesn't work well anymore. Small inconvenient illnesses that used to only knock me out for a day or two can now turn ugly and leave me out of action for several weeks at a time. With the added time I need to recuperate, I become depressed. I could handle the medical glitches, but the depression that accompanies them is driving me crazy. Certainly an evil cycle I find myself in.
It seems appropriate, no, make that predictable, that I would mention this on the date of my birth.
Afterword - I generally hate the piss and moan posts of others. I am not fond of this one I came up with either. But not everyday is filled with sunshine and not every day is a new beginning. Often every day is but a continuation of yesterday's bad day. I just felt the need to vent. No apologies, just a note that I will try to refrain from making this a habit.