Smokin Roaches Monday - Honest Memories

"Two minds processed through chemical blenders attempt to find clarity or even vague translucence to their weak grip on whatever reality is left after dropping three hits of Sunshine acid each."

That was the first line I wrote today for my Smokin Roaches  Monday post for July 29.  I had planned to recount some dumbass drug moment from my past.  But 300 or so words into it, I stopped and read what I had written.  It was garbage.  Not worth the effort to post and maybe not even worthy of being the subject of  a conversation.  Yet here we are.

I constantly have to remind myself as the years stack up, that nothing but reruns of fond memories will often cloud the reality of what comprised my past.  No better example exists than my life under the influence of the many substances I dabbled in.

During the period I was deeply involved in substance abuse, I was sure I was having the time of my life.  What a wonderful world this was to stagger through and hardly remember much of.  Yeah, those were surely good times.  Times not to be forgotten nor remembered either.

What I do remember is performing a self appraisal the summer of 1972 just before sayin fuck this shit and hitch hiking home to Maine to get away from the lifestyle and the idiots I shared it with.  I was into hitting up pharmaceutical Methedrine and back alley Heroin.  I had become weary of the constant drag the drugs had on me and my life.  Every day was an evil cycle of looking for drugs, scoring drugs, doing drugs and coming down off drugs.

I have some regrets in my life.  My time with hard drugs is not one of them.  I did what I did and regretting it now is just wasting some of the time I am running out of.  All I try to do now is remember to not put on my rose colored glasses so often and remember my past with some balance and some honesty.

Keep it 'tween the ditches ..............................................................