Thursday, February 12, 2009

Abe & Sex

An odd combination of sensory inputs coalesced in my mind this morning as I did manly husband things my wife told me to do. Call this a pre-apology for the images you are about to see or already have seen. I guess I just figured this is Abe's day and well he should be my spokes model so to speak.


Today is Abe's birthday. 200 years ago the great man was born. Whether you like him or not, his greatness is beyond doubt. The celebrations are okay I guess. What I find annoying are the endless comparisons of him to Obama. Or is it the comparisons of Obama to him? Perspective people, perspective. I like Obama. I even voted for the man. But this constant adulation that borders on idolatry is beginning to wear thin with me. Tone it down. We are not doing him any favors by setting the pedestal so high. He will either begin to believe his own press or he will fail to deliver by proving he cannot part the seas or walk on water. He is but a man. He will not save us. Only we can do that.

The evils of Sexuality

I was in the garage beginning my 2009 offensive in the never ending sump wars. Thawing out frozen lines and cussing the rush of basement water. I had NPR on the little ghetto blaster. It was playing solid classical background music. Suddenly there was dead air. I hate dead air. So I switched it over to the one station that never fails. The God Station I call it. Christian values and opinion right from the playbook of the righteous and faithful. Today I tuned into the middle of one of their high horse panel discussions of the horror of sexuality in this country. The focus was on deviant and low moral behaviour, which I gather meant any sex at all.

The moments of religious discussion immediately following my changing of the dial centered on , yeah, homosexuality. How it really was a choice and God did not like it. They knew this because the Scriptures told them so. And we all know God dictated the Scriptures.

So they had a young Christian fellow on who had fallen into Satan's evil pit of homosexuality. He eventually saw the wickedness of his ways and has now renounced his gayness and generally condemned the whole lot of them. He even wrote a book.

This was all fine and ever so predictable. What I find interesting is that we know we are sexual animals. We know this certainly by our early teens. Our actions and interest driven by a huge influx of hormones telling us this without us having to think about it. And rather than just accepting this biological imperative that normal humans cannot ignore, many of us would choose to stifle it for all of us. Many would choose to highlight it by condemning it. I think if we just ignored it, there would be less attention paid by the morally corrupt folks who make up most of mankind. Because it is actively repressed through religious edicts and cultural stupidity, we only create a keener interest in it.

And you might ask why is it appropriate to sully the image of Lincoln with this garbage? Well, back in my college days when I occasionally paid attention, a history professor I liked immensely was on one his humorous anecdotes about Presidents. He indicated that while Lincoln was never caught to his knowledge actually fiddlin and diddlin around, there is much evidence he was keenly interested in sex. So much so, his unsatisfied urges helped to bring on his famous migraines. I always wondered why the Union troops wore blue and why Abe insisted on the big hat.

Oh, and he supposedly loved dirty jokes.

And BTW Abe - Happy Birthday. I hope where ever you are you are laughing. And not shaking your head in disbelief that this is what you worked so hard to save.

(348 / 10,397)


BBC said...

What I find annoying are the endless comparisons of him to Obama.

No shit.

Oh, and he supposedly loved dirty jokes.

Everyone does, generally speaking, but some get offended if you send them dirty jokes because they don't want you to know they enjoy them.

They just want to find them on their own so they seem clean and saintly to you.

And the pope whacks off, but that motherfucker won't admit it.

Bull said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sick to death of Obama idolatry. Level-headed, objective assessment is a must; praise and/or criticize as he deserves.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

An odd combination of sensory inputs coalesced in my mind this morning as I did manly husband things my wife told me to do.

Um, that's a bit too much information, sir. :oD

Great post, Crum. I didn't know President Lincoln liked dirty jokes, but it's a fun thing to learn.

Randal Graves said...

Great. Now that you've told the whole world that Lincoln was a dirty bastard, they're going to revoke the holiday. I know I'm not ready for James Polk day. Endless streams of Frankie and Weird Al.

Demeur said...

Sounds like you've been hangin around Dana's place again. Bless her heart.

If your spouse was a shoe what would she be?

Anonymous said...

There may well be a Lincoln-Obama connection .... unfettered Federal power.

Lincoln by force of arms imposed the Federal Government on states that no no longer wished to be part of it. When in fact the Fed is a creation of the states, not them of it.

And now Pres. Obama, just like Bush, is invoking the State Secrets bullshit to protect the Federal bastards from having to follow the Constitution. The guy is pure jive.