If You Were Small enough, You'd be Food

It is the last day of the month. I have a busy day ahead of me.  Why?  I am not sure why, but the bike shop has gotten off to a stellar start this first month of 2012.  The weather?  My better than average attendance record?  Whatever it is, I have to go with it.  The cha-ching cha-ching of the register is what keeps the doors opening on a daily basis.  But like I said it is the last day of the month.  Seems to me marking the last of anything has some importance also.  So here I am marking it.

Fernando El Magnifico is performing his usual figure eight in between and around my legs.  He stops every so often and tosses a huge clawed paw up on my thigh just to make sure I know he is there.  "Yeah, Yeah bonehead, I see ya."

Paper or Plastic?

I saved a paper bag today.  That is nothing unusual.  I save things all the time.  Especially things made of paper:  Card board boxes, big envelopes, small envelopes, peices of paper if they strike me at the time I might find some use for them in the future, and of course paper bags.  My radar is always out for paper bags.  They are rare and almost extinct I guess.  When I have the chance to save a good one, I jump on it.

While I folded that bag back into it's original state before it was used to hold my 24oz Papst and a bag of Chex mix, I thought about how great it was for me once again to be folding a paper bag.  Plastic bags give me no such pleasure.  Plastic bags are nothing but thin, wimpy wannabe paper bags. 

The Three Sided Brain

The get er done, nose to the grind stone Left Side Brain Guy inside who is large and in charge at the bike shop does not network well the other guys who hang out riding the pine and waiting their turn.

There's creative, random loose dog Right Side Brain Guy wanting to fly fancy free.   He's in charge of setting our mind free, unhooking the leash, and giving our creativity a good goose.  When he's out and about, where we end up is always in doubt.

And thankfully, or maybe just by default,  in charge of locating some balance,  of course Fence Sittin Brain Guy hovers in the middle, his grip tenuously holding on right and left.  A path of least resistance kinda guy, he'd rather be stretched out on hammock or couch ideally with a remote and beer close at hand.

The three of them are more often than not at odds and not in sync.  For any of them to make an impact, it takes at least a team of two, sometimes all three.

Greed

A post on Major Conflict got me fired up.  Rather it was a comment on the post that did -  

"What's wrong with being greedy?"

The comment needs no context to tie it into the post.  It is a stand alone question from a commenter I would expect no less from.  We have traded comments more than a few times on Major Conflict .

Immediately I ripped off a 500 word reply blasting greed and the nasty side effects that usually accompany it.  Feeling better, I sat back and re-read what I had written.  I immediately deleted it.  So I responded instead -

"Before I can answer that I need to know what is right about being greedy."

Ending Up With What We Deserve

Watching this year's Republican circus of clowns fight tooth and nail with each other over the right to take on Obama Man in November has been both entertaining and enlightening.  Entertaining because this particular cast is anything but the normal boring button down wing tipped crew the Right usually fields.  Oh we have our token Brooks Brother rep as played by Mitt.  Classic handsome banker type who has nice teeth and an almost squeaky clean bio.

Any other year in the past, he would be a lock by now.  But the Right has become dissatisfied with playing the game it has always played.  It would seem they are intent on pushing the fringe policies of their side to the front to draw a line in the sand.  And it it is a hard line in the sand.  A wishy washy candidate is not what they want.  At least that is my perception at this point.

A Tale of Two Bitter Colts Fans

"Have we not suffered enough?! What have we done to anger the football gods in such a way that they send the (expletive) Patriots to us for Super Bowl XLVI?!"

That quote is from an Yahoo Sports online article written by Eric R Me, an obviously sore loser Colts fan.  Suddenly my intense almost and maybe even fanatical adoration for the expletive Patriots comes into focus.

I used to be a Colts fan.  Back when they were the real Colts and not the pretend Colts they became when Irsay packed up the team and slithered out of B-more in the middle of the night.  I knew I would never again root for any team using the label "Colts".  Not even my old little league team in Florida if they happen to be still there as the "Alert Heat and Cooling" Colts.  The name is dead to me.  You can thank Mr Irsay for ruining what could have been a life long relationship.  I even once defended the Colts in a parking lot drunken brawl with some Miami fans outside Memorial Stadium in 1973.  And so what if I had my ass handed to me that night.  I stood up for my Colts.

A Newt Education

With the Blogosphere lighting up all over with posts about Gingrich's recent victory in South Carolina's Republican Primary, I thought I would join the fray and add my two cents worth.

But then I thought I wouldn't.  He won.  Who cares?  Let's move on.

Instead, I decided to attempt to distance one of my favorite critters from the bad influence of a poor excuse of a Presidential candidate. But first I needed to educate myself on Gringrich's namesake to make sure one was of a higher moral fiber than the other.  I had no need to educate myself on Newt, the politician.  His mug and comedic behavior has been around for years.  But the real Newt, well, I learned there was more to know than a quick run through at Wikipedia.

TV Ears Saved My Marriage

The ad assured me that at least for one happy customer their marriage was now back on track to be the domestic bliss envisioned that fateful day however many years ago this aging wife stood wearing white, looking up at her Prince Charming while one of God's conduits blessed their union.

Just what were these magical TV Ears that had that kind of power to keep the bliss in domestic cohabitation?  I read further than the gotcha headline and learned that Dad had a hearing loss.  So he would turn up the volume on the TV so he could hear.  Meanwhile his family suffered because they were still blessed with perfect hearing.  It was destroying the family not being able to happily enjoy TV together.

I read on.  Over one million satisfied customers.  Better Business ranking of A+.  And to really set the hook - Proudly made in the US of A.

Awesome.

Of course, the new and improved models are a bit smaller now, looking like those hokey ear pieces handed out on airplanes years ago.  I should probably anty up and get a set put in the mail for me.  I, or rather my lovely wife and daughter have told me I am going deaf.  I think it is more they are just becoming overly sensitive to sound.  I hear fine.  Turn it up to wow I say.  I will say though, if I did buy a set, it would in no way save my marriage.  That ship is on its own, sink or swim, through thick and thin, for twenty years it has teetered on the rim.  Personally I like living on the edge even though one day my long suffering wife will probably push me off.  TV Ears will not save me.

Later....................................

It's About Respect

YELLOWDOG GRANNY (YDG) commented on my post about forgiveness - "judas fucking priest..save me from Christians".  I often do not understand why some comments stick with me past the initial enjoyment of the first read through.  But some do.  Her's definitely did.

Then a day or so ago, I mentioned this hanging comment to a fellow I know is a serious church going man.  His, "he was positive he was on target", knee jerk response - "It means you are seeking God's guidance but do not know it yet."  Everything in Life has religious significance to this guy.  He is the poster child Christian YDG wants someone to save her from.  Me too for that matter.

Crowd Control in a Small Maine Town

First I guess I need to toss in some personal perspective gained through personal experience.  I related this tale before, so for those of you who have suffered through it before, I will try to be brief, but will probably fail.

The year - Spring, 1969.  The setting - Library of Congress.  Actually it was what happened after the Library of Congress that this pertains to.  A group of students from my military school were visiting the Library in DC.  We were all done up in our military best as we had to present a positive image of the school.  So we go through the tour, some of us interested some of us not.  But everyone was interested in the 3 hours of free time we were to be given once we finished our obligation of being dutiful and studious students.

The NFL, Hookers, and Serial Killers

FOOTBALL WARNING - If you don't want to suffer my crazed football fan remarks, observations, and opinion on the current NFL playoffs, then skip this first part.

Last night I got home from the bike shop tuckered, beat,  just plain tired and worn out.  The first divisional game of the day between the 49ers and the Saints was well  into the 2nd quarter.  I sat down on the couch and immediately knew I was in trouble.  Uh oh.  Better pull out the Rally Rocker or I'll pass out and miss the night game later I really wanted, no needed to watch.  Without me in focused attention, my Pats would somehow find a way to lose in the post season for the fourth time in a row.  It was absolutely imperiative I be awake so my positive vibes could travel from me through the dimension such waves travel and settle into the collective Karma of the New England Patriots.

Dropping Trou and Forgiveness

Micah 7:18-19
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

I guess outgoing Gov. Barbour of Mississippi has been reading from the wrong sections of the Bible lately.  He recently created a shit storm in his state by falling prey to that outdated Christian weakness so many of his kind now successfully resist.  Like homosexuality, forgiveness is one of the many weaknesses many good Christians will do their best to distance themselves from because through the magic of modern day Christo-technology, they know that forgiving is a weakness and gays are made not born.   And gasp and oh my, here is one of their salt of the earth brethren caving to his weakness and issuing pardons to convicted sinners throughout his state.  The World has officially come to an end in Mississippi.

Screwin the Pooch

Well it is snowing now.  Must be 7 inches of the stuff out there.  I just finished blowing it off the drive.  Sure hope it turns to rain like they promised before too much more snow begins to fil in where I have dug out.  Rain on top of even a small amount of snow leaves things very untidy once a daylight thaw commences.  Then it re-freezes and before you know it, the drive, the walk, all become rock hard irregular avenues that can be hazardous to the infirm or inattentive.  I am not infirm yet, but the inattentive problem has plagued me my whole life.

BA Flys Home From Texas

Yesterday had one focal point for me.  To pick up my wife at the airport in Manchester, NH cleanly and on time.  She was returning home from a reunion weekend with one of her high school buds who lived in Del Rio, Texas.   BA ( I call my wife BA because well she is a BA when she gets her back up) - Anyway  BA left Del Rio at 6 something AM central time.  She landed in Houston, collected herself and took a train to another terminal to catch a flight to Newark, NJ to connect with a flight,  that if everything fell into place, would end with wheels down in Manchester, NH at or in vicinity of 3:45 PM, Eastern Standard Time.

Long day of travel for my wife and a long time for me to stay focused in order to successfully pull off a wife pick up at the airport.  Both of us were under pressure.  I certainly was as I have been known to be as many as 5 minutes late picking her up in the past.  You want to see BA put her BA suit on, be late.  SO when she told me to keep my cell phone close and goddammit, turn it on this time.  I slept with the damn thing shoved in my jockey shorts set on vibrate,,,,,,uh nevermind .... you get the picture.

Eight on the Eighth

It is January 8, 2012.  My small part of the world has been turned on its ear.  We should be up to our keisters in snow and the trails in the woods should be too nasty soft to ride bikes.  Yet today eight of us went out and busted off some solid trail miles like it was late Fall before the first snow of winter.  I have only had to pull on the cold, cold weather gloves once this year.

By this time in January I am lucky if I have ridden once - usually a token ride on New Years Day.  As of today, 1/8/12, I have 5 rides under my belt.  Not token rides, but good efforts on real dirt............ There just is absolutely no snow out there.  Oh, some white shit is still tucked away under trees and in the deep shade, but my trails are clean and damn fast because they are frozen.

Strangest winter I have ever experienced in Maine, and I have more than a few behind me now.  I understand the mild conditions in the  US can be found everywhere this year.  I saw videos of kids kickin back on swings in Chicago and at least one was barefoot.  Strange shit I tell ya.  Maybe the Mayan Gods are giving us one last good run before they turn the lights out come December 21.

Before the New Year hits us, I accept that there will be snow.  I expect it and even hope for some.  The New Year kicks in and I want nothing more to do with the white shit.  By January 2nd I am ready for Spring.  That said, I am ready for Spring, but will hope it stays cold enough to finally give us some seriously good ice riding.  Hopefully the snow does not come with the cold.

I won't hold my breath...........................................
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Some new fiction over to BoZone Too

~  Chicago Likes Things Tidy

~ Turn Left and Look Up

~ Lying Truth - Indie Ink Challenge - 100 Words

Bye Bye Bachmann, Bye Bye

So Michelle has decided to pack up her righteous indignation, shelve her assault plan on the White House, and deliver us from the constant barrage of lies and fear mongering she has punished us with this last year.  Officially she has not "dropped out", rather she has "suspended her campaign".  What that means is she can continue to legally raise campaign money and spend it however she wants.  The closest thing I can compare it too is paying a player to sit on the bench.  Well done Michelle.  You have your cake and you still get to stuff your face with it.  And you claim it is Obama who is solely responsible for ruining this country.  Riiiiiiight.

I notice that it has only been a few days since the Iowa Caucus, and already Ron Paul has faded from mainstream media view.  Apparently the talking heads have decided the Republican contest is now down to a choice between Romney and Frothy Man Santorum .  Poor Ron just can't catch a break.  His finished a close third and yet he is back where he started - no one wants to pay him any respect.  Something tells me they should.

My Take on the Iowa Caucus

So the cream is finally struggling its way to the top.  Of course I offer my sincerest apologies to cows everywhere for using this comparison of the Republican Presidential race to dairy products of any kind, even clabber, which I might add is delicious if prepared properly.  I would have used the tired shit floats analogy, but then I have resolved this year to be on my best behavior when commenting about politics.  We'll see how long that lasts.

Romney's landslide victory of 8 votes over Frothy Man Santorum has to give him a warm and fuzzy feeling about his standing among the core of his party.  Even if they hate him, they will vote for him if it means there is even a snow ball's chance in Hell of ousting that loser in the White House right at the moment. Oh Happy Day.

Poor Michelle

"If money is the issue, I wish it wouldn't be," she said. "I don't think money should pick the president."

I feel pretty confident Michelle Bachmann would not have uttered these words if she had the money she does not think should elect the president.  But since she does not shoulder the same heavy campaign purse many of her opponents in Iowa have, of course she would wish money did not elect the president.

 She is right.  How deep some candidate's pockets are should not determine the outcome of an election.  But to hear her whine about it makes me chuckle.  The political system in this country has been corrupted by money for years.  Our pols spend more time it seems sucking up to big money than doing the jobs they were elected to do.  Especially the Congress men and women of the House of Representatives, of which Michelle has been a member now for more than a few years.