Saturday, September 11, 2010

A Triple Double Big Gulp Day

I had every intention of visiting other blogs and writing pithy and meaningful comments tonight instead of tossing another blog post out into the public arena.   But I didn't.

I can't remember why I didn't because well, my brain is fried.  Once I had my belly filled with a healthy 4 or 5 slices of bacon/pineapple pizza, I went into a kind of heroin nod.  Bacon and pineapple pizza will do that to me.  I can barely keep my eyes open. 

Of course this health conscious meal with good stuff from the Food Triangle came on top of a Triple Double Big Gulp Day.

Let me back up some.

I knew about Big Gulps.  They have been around forever.  But I had never had one until a month ago.  Not once.  Ever.  Today I drank three.

I drank three Double Big Gulps full of Gatorade and ice because it was either that or four 20 ounce coffees.  Since Caffeine is on my recently "cut it back" list, I had to find artificial stimulation somewhere else. 

Tried to sneak in with iced coffee.  But as I explained the rules one more time  to myself, I had to agree that the exact wording was "cutting back on caffeine", not cutting back on coffee.   So Ice coffee was out.  And since soda pop has been on the list of banned substances for quite awhile, I had to find something that would quench my thirst and not leave my mouth bored. 

Water  is without interest.  It sustains but has no style.  It does the job of hydration just fine and there are moments when a cool drink from the jug in the fridge is exactly what I want.  But when I drink water, there is no thrill, no pick me up for the taste buds. 

So a month ago I approached the Big Gulp machine at my local 7eleven.  It is not really a machine, but more of a complex.  At one end there are rows of flip tabs next to nozzles with little images above them informing the potential consumer of what they might be getting into should they fill their cup with the elixir within.  Must be 10 or 12 choices to pick from.  Right in the middle is the ice dispenser.  Next would be a bank of rugged plastic cups, the smallest of which could hold enough water for a day in the desert.  Next to that is  Slurpee World.  It was too strange, I could not get past the idea of a straw and a spoon combined.  It twisted my mind into small knots, so I concentrated on the Big Gulp area.

I figured out that first I must pick a vessel to hold my liquid.  With a couple of 10 year olds eyeing me , I figured I had to step up.  So I picked the big cup.  The Double Big Gulp cup.  A nod from one of the little punks told me he approved.   He frowned though when I filled the cup 3/4 up with ice and then walked away in disgust mumbling when I hit the Gatorade button filling my cup with almost but not quite healthy orange liquid.   His buddy looked at me and said, "Gatorade sucks man."  and then joined his bud over at the bank of candy bars.

Hell, I knew Gatorade sucked.  But what's an old fart to do when he jones for junk food yet knows all it does is make him buy larger clothes?  At least the artificial color gives an impression of sinful libation even if the taste does not.  As long as I know I am at least pumping some Orange Dye number 56 into my system, I rest at night knowing I have given Health at least some token resistance.  Better Health is going to have to sneak up on me.


Nan said...

Does Gatorade still taste like sweat? The one and only time I tried hydrating with it, I couldn't get past the taste.

Beach Bum said...

I had every intention of visiting other blogs and writing pithy and meaningful comments tonight instead of tossing another blog post out into the public arena. But I didn't.

Often with my work schedule and insane family life there are times when I simply run out of energy, both mental and physical.

Gatorade isn't quite as bad as some of the other sports drinks. I tried another brand one time and about puked. As far as Big Gulps are concerned I have long since "evolved" to the diet stuff and when I drink regular soda it doesn't taste right.

PENolan said...

I'm one of those people that carries around my own Nalgene bottle full of water - not especially because of health reasons but because I hate paying big money for beverages. There's Fresca at home. Wine, too.

I noticed that you had not been around much lately, but I see you're posting like a wild man over here. It's hard to write your own posts and make the rounds at the same time - even when you're only posting a couple of times a week. You've even written poetry. Writing that stuff takes a lot of energy. No wonder you needed Gatorade.

MRMacrum said...

Nan - No, it does not taste like it did in the beginning. I too remember that salt taste well. Gatorade showed up at college lacrosse back in 1971 and we were expected to be polite and drink their swill. I remember well the comment I wrote down after a season of suffering it's taste. "This stuff is crap."

Now it is almost pop like in it's taste. No carbonation of course.

Beach Bum - Thumbs up on the sometimes to beat to even think, nevermind blog.

No Gatorade is the least obnoxious sports drink I have tried. And I have tried many. Most, especially the sugar free ones taste like gusseyed up toxic waste.

PENolan - I always have a bottle full of water with me. But only to quench thirst, not for taste.

No, I have not been visiting othe rblogs as much lately. I find it actually sucks more time from me than writing does. And lately, my bikeshop has been center stage. And it looks to be that way for the forseeable future. I will stop in to say hey at some point here soon.

My current love affair with Gatorade is more an attempt to pre-empt any cramps I might get from riding my bicycle. And since I have ridden more this season than I have in the past 3 seasons, cramps sit heavy on my mind. I hate muscle cramps. A cramp is my body reminding me in it's own way that I am being stupid with regards to how I am treating it.

muddleglum said...


I started getting downing that lately—dontchaknow it's a health food now? I could cherry pick a few research articles that would prove it. Besides that, if you take enough of it, the jitters use up a lot of calories—surely a slim figure is reason enough to double your intake.