Saturday, September 11, 2010
A Triple Double Big Gulp Day
I can't remember why I didn't because well, my brain is fried. Once I had my belly filled with a healthy 4 or 5 slices of bacon/pineapple pizza, I went into a kind of heroin nod. Bacon and pineapple pizza will do that to me. I can barely keep my eyes open.
Of course this health conscious meal with good stuff from the Food Triangle came on top of a Triple Double Big Gulp Day.
Let me back up some.
I knew about Big Gulps. They have been around forever. But I had never had one until a month ago. Not once. Ever. Today I drank three.
I drank three Double Big Gulps full of Gatorade and ice because it was either that or four 20 ounce coffees. Since Caffeine is on my recently "cut it back" list, I had to find artificial stimulation somewhere else.
Tried to sneak in with iced coffee. But as I explained the rules one more time to myself, I had to agree that the exact wording was "cutting back on caffeine", not cutting back on coffee. So Ice coffee was out. And since soda pop has been on the list of banned substances for quite awhile, I had to find something that would quench my thirst and not leave my mouth bored.
Water is without interest. It sustains but has no style. It does the job of hydration just fine and there are moments when a cool drink from the jug in the fridge is exactly what I want. But when I drink water, there is no thrill, no pick me up for the taste buds.
So a month ago I approached the Big Gulp machine at my local 7eleven. It is not really a machine, but more of a complex. At one end there are rows of flip tabs next to nozzles with little images above them informing the potential consumer of what they might be getting into should they fill their cup with the elixir within. Must be 10 or 12 choices to pick from. Right in the middle is the ice dispenser. Next would be a bank of rugged plastic cups, the smallest of which could hold enough water for a day in the desert. Next to that is Slurpee World. It was too strange, I could not get past the idea of a straw and a spoon combined. It twisted my mind into small knots, so I concentrated on the Big Gulp area.
I figured out that first I must pick a vessel to hold my liquid. With a couple of 10 year olds eyeing me , I figured I had to step up. So I picked the big cup. The Double Big Gulp cup. A nod from one of the little punks told me he approved. He frowned though when I filled the cup 3/4 up with ice and then walked away in disgust mumbling when I hit the Gatorade button filling my cup with almost but not quite healthy orange liquid. His buddy looked at me and said, "Gatorade sucks man." and then joined his bud over at the bank of candy bars.
Hell, I knew Gatorade sucked. But what's an old fart to do when he jones for junk food yet knows all it does is make him buy larger clothes? At least the artificial color gives an impression of sinful libation even if the taste does not. As long as I know I am at least pumping some Orange Dye number 56 into my system, I rest at night knowing I have given Health at least some token resistance. Better Health is going to have to sneak up on me.