Saturday, February 06, 2010

Making a Dent

Hello........Uh Hello........HELLOOOOO!

Yeah, I finally found my way back for a moment or two. It has been quite awhile since I stayed away so long. Been busy. Two headed whores and a Shriner convention come to mind when I try to replay the last couple of weeks. This is a good thing. More productive and healthier than I have felt in months. So far, I am really enjoying 2010.

I thought for tonight's entertainment (mine, not yours necessarily - but be my guest - the more the merrier), I would write a few words and then have a couple of three, four maybe even five shots to celebrate my higher energy output these past couple of weeks. Seems I have allowed too much sensory input and over load to lodge between my ears. Sorting it out is not worth it. A good purge and defrag of the mainframe seems to me a logical next step. Some shots, some tunes and a few words might just do the trick. I'll be right back.............

Shot Numero Uno
I turned so far inward recently, I haven't watched much TV, seen any headlines, never mind my absence from the Blogoshpere. Deciding to forgo other more relaxing and lazy activities was a tough hoop to get my fat ass through. But once I squeezed through that first one, the other hoops all just kind of lined up in front of me. I've been jumping through which ever one pops up next. I am actually seeing what I think might be the beginnings of a dent in the madness forming. An outline so to speak of what one might look like if it ever really happened.

Okay, okay.....we'll just call it a good hint of what a dent might look like.

Shot Dos
I was going to title this splendid little review of my Life at the moment, "Hash and Shots - Revisited". But I don't have any Hash. It would be half a lie at best and a full tilt misdirection and a cheap PR move at worst. So I settled on 2nd best.

Third Dip From the Well
While I have successfully dampened my political fire while MIA, I was able to finally decide that I am just flat out disgusted with both the Democrats and the Republicans. I have no use for either Party. Until we can bury a hatchet in the two party system we have now, we are doomed to to be lead by mediocre and useless leaders.............Hmm.......Yeah, I guess that about covers it I guess.

Shot Quatro
The effects of the first hit of Rebel Yell sour mash is knocking at my door. Combine my tendency of late to be out of steam shortly after a good heavy evening meal and this fourth whiskey is being sipped and coveted by a dimming light. I hope I can keep my eyes open long enough to finish it.

Only one solution...............Blues.

I guess if a guy's gots some shots but has not gots any Hash, if he gots Blues to go with those Shots he gots, it's almost as good as it gets. Better, I think. Depends on who's wailing and what guitar is being spanked. Big Momma Thornton is sure a nice substitute to what I ain't gots.

The Fifth Tee
My eyes tell me this is my last gasp. My brain says screw dat. The first four shots have revv-ed up the synapses. My body however is requesting some pity. It knows it has to get up in the AM and ride mountain bikes in 10'F temps on frozen ice covered trails. My body is under the foolish assumption not being hungover will be create some notion of an advantage over a body wracked by too little sleep and a stomach praying it can hurl when we stop at the first stop sign.

A sane man might stop here. Yes, someone more level headed than I would take a breath and consider the repercussions of continuing to slide further into inebriation. Then a sensible man might do the sensible thing and find the warm side of the next blanket.

However, I am not a sensible man. Nor am I even close to level headed once a few ounces of alcohol have passed my lips. Maybe that is why I quit drinking for so long. Keepin up an even keel when I'm sober is enough of a pants filling chore, forget trying to maintain any sense of sanity while drunk or just not drunk at the moment.

One Past the Limit
Mumble, hack, scratch some naughty parts, sit back deeper into that hard backed wooden chair on tired wheels, lift that left cheek and let er rip............Hmm......That almost reads like it ought to be a motto for someone, some group, or subset of the species.

This is Your second Warning - You Are Now Two Tokes Shots Over the Line
It looks like it could be trouble ahead. I just cranked up some Doors. Historically, when I crank the Doors, it means a second wind with a vengeance. The battle of wills has been waged and a victor of sorts has emerged. Brain wins. Body sucks it up and deals with it. Brain will pay later. A pound of flesh wil be flayed from my pysche at some point early on the ride.

Eight is Not Enough
I have tried to remain coherent. Lord knows what I am going to wake up to when I open this post tomorrow. I decided that I would post this as is no matter what. For some reason I think/thought it might be interesting to read my words as I laid into the Sour Mash. Never done it before and since I have always been there for any cheap thrill available, this one seemed tailor made for me.

By the Ninth Shot - There is No More Pain
Wow. My wrist doesn't hurt anymore. Damn thing has been angry and painful for months now.

Shot Ten - There is No More Brain
Mrmph.....blattel.....chorkle, chack , back up in the draft.
There's only me, myself, and I in this raft.
Just blew in for a some gas and a laugh.

Who's smilin now?

Later Gator.......................


PipeTobacco said...

Mr. MaCrum:

I was one with the bottle on Friday, myself. It is a valuable, occasional defragmenting tool indeed.

I have missed your essays. But, I can understand being away, for I have been away myself for a spell (mine due to mood).

I have never had hashish or marijuana of any sort. I would be appreciative if you could look back to way back when you indulged in those items, and describe what the heck it felt like. Apparently I have no real understanding, for I always presumed it was akin to being very drunk. But, some have told me it is quite different, although they hedge on explaining HOW it feels different.


Carla Ganiel said...

Being sensible is overrated.

I'm with you on the Doors.

Beach Bum said...

Until we can bury a hatchet in the two party system we have now, we are doomed to to be lead by mediocre and useless leaders...

That about sums up my opinion as well.

Anonymous said...

I can understand everything you said and I have not one shot, nor have I EVER had hash. (a deprivation that I would gladly trade for just one toke before I die)

The worst thing I've noticed about getting old is that the process of waking up every morning (when I'm lucky) has the effect of wearing me out to the point where I need a nap.

sunshine said...

Stop drinking and get your probably still firm from all that biking ass over to my blog.
Your absence has been noted by yours truly.

I love the Doors! :P
Glad to see you back. I've missed you.
That post was a tad "Randal-esque"...
Not a bad thing. :)


El Cerdo Ignatius said...

HIC! Great post, Crum.

You're a brave man. I dare not drink to excess. Anymore.