Thursday, April 02, 2009

Church of the Latter Day Mammarians

Over the last 30 or so years, there seems to have been more folks finding religion of one kind or another or just re-discovering the faith they were raised in. Born Agains, Found Agains, but not as many Lost Agains. Folks are flocking to the Big guy's door. Secularism is just not as hip at the moment.

A typical outgrowth of this resurgence in religion, is the predictable rise in numbers on the fanatical fringes. Islam and the Born Again Christian movement get the lion's share of the spotlight. But intertwined into this resurgence are shadowy religions that are growing outside the public eye.

One movement I began to notice back in the 1970's.

I first spotted the cone like buildings while trucking goods up and down the East Coast. Yurt like, they seemed to pop up overnight conveniently located at major interchanges next to the Interstates. Paid for with public money, their stated purpose was to house and contain sand and salt for winter dispersal of ice and snow or house highway maintenance equipment to be used on the many miles of roads that connect all of us.

My curiosity was tweaked. I did some digging. I staked out a few here and there. I pulled all nighters. I followed workers to and from work. I went to various halls of record and tussled with bored bureaucrats and followed the trails set up and paid for with public money spent on these recent additions to our landscape. Each tidbit of information by itself did not point to anything ominous. But added together and placed in a certain sequence..........Friends, we are facing a secret cabal intent on taking over.

Oh sure, during the day, they appeared to be harmless public buildings that fulfilled a public safety need. All a mirage. A cover. What I found after months of grueling and tedious research was a religious cult that once it's potential is fully realized will change the World as we know it. And all done behind the smoke screen of calling it "in the interest of Public Safety". Yeah Right.

With information scraped together outside the public domain, I have been able to discern a name, and what their immediate goal is. So secret are their secrets, I am showing immense courage just by exposing this much about them. Suffice it to say, my days are likely numbered now. This expose' will most certainly set into motion some kind of "accident" or "disappearance" that will remove any threat I might be to their nefarious machinations.

They call themselves the "Church of the Latter Day Mammarians". Their implied indication of being a religious group only hides their deeper and more scurrilous objective. They are the first wave of recruits who will be unleashed upon the World when the alien masters decide to take over. They are the grass roots arm of the NWO. They are run by humans under the direction of managers who have been burrowed deep for centuries into the crust of Io, a moon circling Jupiter.

In order to bring converts into the fold, they decided to play upon the human male fascination with the female bosom. A false religion was built around the perception that we only grow at the Breast of God. The bosom is the true well of humanity. Becoming a Mammarian is a sign one recognizes the breast's divinity in the scheme of all things cosmic. Life must be nursed and fed to become fully realized. What better symbol of the Earth Mother than a building that looks like a Viking bra cup, size Double D sticking 4 stories out of the ground?

The membership is made up of mid-level local bureaucrats who offer easy conversion because of their feelings of inadequacy and lack of having control. The men who feel they answer to those above and those below. These supervisors of our public infrastructure are perfect marks. Under appreciated by the rest of us, they have now been fooled into thinking their worth is worth something to someone, even if they are a non-human someone. And who else would be in the best position to cripple our World than the road engineers, the sanitation engineers, the utilities engineers? Those aliens are not stupid.

They began their infiltration by erecting these houses of worship next to the network of roads called the Interstate. And now that there are thousands of these scattered about strategically, they can at the proper moment, kick off the next phase of their insidious plan. World Domination. When the signal is received from Io, hordes of converted Mammarians will pour out onto our landscape and take control.

I have only just put the few pieces I have together to form something of a coherent picture of what lies ahead. I am still gathering data about what the ultimate goal is concerning those of us not on board already. I would have waited to post this much, but the time has come to at least raise an alarm. Even one offering only anecdotal proof. And even now my alarm may be too late.

See ya..............

(836 / 1600)


BBC said...

You will be where you need to be when you stop studying religions and just be spirit only.

If a religious woman starts telling you about her love for god ask her if she wants to have sex with god.

You know, being as she loves him so much she must want to make love with him.

Okay, but if she wants to do that it will have to be with your dick. Of course as soon as you point that out she will tear ruts in your driveway getting away from you.

Go figure.

PipeTobacco said...


Wonderfully funny! I nearly spilled my coffee this morning from the onset of laughter as I became immersed in the story.

I wish I would write humor as well as you do. Unfortunately at this time of year my mind is stuck in the routines and deadlines of the semester, and I find it hard to think particularly creatively (which humor needs).

I need to figure out a way to loosen up some, even during these stressful parts of the semester. Perhaps I need a more potent pipe tobacco.


Kulkuri said...

Thanks for the mammaries!! Any religion that worships tits is OK in my book, sign me up!!

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Secularism is just not as hip at the moment.

If secularism is your game, visit Quebec. If ever there were a case of an entire people heading to the exit door of spirituality all at the same time, it's la belle province.

When the signal is received from Io, hordes of converted Mammarians will pour out onto our landscape and take control.

As long as the Mammarians are willing to, uh, share the love, I fail to see the problem.

Gary ("Old Dude") said...

Very interesting---but out west here, we don't have all that many of these cone like buildings---perhaps because out here Silicon is in--------(lol)

Randal Graves said...

Now I'm even more frightened about our future. Or possibly titillated. But you, good sir, are keeping abreast of the situation, are putting two and two together so we as a species aren't blinding by oncoming headlights.

Oh shit, there's a knocker at my door!

Demeur said...

Oh yes we have them out here in the west as well. It's just that they're well hidden. They don't want the main stream religions knowing their plan until it's too late.

And have you noticed that some of your cable channels are missing? Pop through your cable channels and notice that some of them aren't there. Out here we're missing 22,26 and 69. How curious. I suspect the Mammarians are using those channels to communicate.

I guess I'll go to Hooters for their next indoctrination meeting. That's where they get their recruits you know.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Oh yeah, I remember these guys! Nyarlathotep had asked me to check them out to see if there was potential for a link-up between their gang and ours.

They're a bunch of amateurs. But my induction into "The Order of the Motorboat" was fun...

Mauigirl said...

ROTFL! I love it, the Church of the Latter Day Mammarians. (I think my husband may be a secret member). Randal, great comment there!

Bill said...

Man, we're talkin' some serious sleep deprivation here... Driving truck is a lot tougher than I ever imagined.

1138 said...

I've encountered them... they're a bunch of boobs.

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