Yes, I have been a tad wound up of late. And yes, like a child of 6, I am prone to being easily distracted. I often have 5 things going at a time like my mom used to have 4 or 5 butts smoldering throughout the house at any given point of the day. Unfortunately I picked up her scatter brained habits and my dad's appetite for the demon rum. A combination that took it's toll on friendships, relationships, and chipped away at the health I once had. I come by my foibles and faults honestly. Just as we all do. I worked hard to develop the idiosyncrasies and loose dog ways everyone has learned to put up with these last 56 years. No matter what I forget, miss, or show up late for, every one of my friends and a few relatives know I always mean well.
So sniff, sniff. I really had my feelings hurt today. The sensitive Mike took a hit. Mike's so called male ego and his manhood were abused and used like kids with brand new chalk and a sidewalk to fill up.
My so called friends really do think I am a whacko. I realized this as I was discussing bike stuff with Double Dave and Jim-Jim. The four of them were on me hard about misplacing tools a minute after I set them down. Comments flowed laying into me just because I like to save things most folks consider trash. Once they got on a roll, there was no stopping them. A classic roasting. Real friends these clowns are.
"You guys act as if I am some sort of whacko", I said in defense of my individuality and self image.
Four voices fell silent and 8 eyes just stared at me. Deadpan faces that just shouted "Well duh, you didn't know that?" And the light blinked on. The bell was rung. My synapses clicked and I realized yes, they thought I was a whacko. A strange man who is different in many ways from what I guess most folks would consider normal.
I never took stock or really considered how people perceived, received me. Oh sure, those sweaty palm moments when a first impression is on the table, or blue lights lighting up my rear view driving home can tend to make me self conscious. But generally I stumble through Life clueless and oblivious of my impression on the rest of the World.
My mom always claimed I tread where angels wouldn't. My older brothers seemed to roll their eyes quite a bit when I was around. Dad's favorite phrase when within earshot was, "Take a breath Mike". I noticed it all, but never followed A to B to find C.
Okay, I am a bit on the odd side. Deep down I guess I always knew this about myself. Didn't seem to make a difference though. Marching to another's tune without a paycheck never seemed to feel right. I had to stay in character. Sanity first. Everything else is just what happens around it.
3 comments:
Yep your definitely what one could safely describe as a "CHARACTER". Its what makes you interesting. Otherwise you would be lost in the background sea of humanity----think of yourself as being our favorite Martian.
Oh, my new friend, do not mourn what never was. How hard we work to nurture an image to project to the world, and all we seem to project is someone trying to appear sane.
Embrace the quirks. There is great freedom in being a little bit strange, and greater freedom in being a lot strange. For instance, nobody expects the flake to be on time. So quit giving yourself an ulcer when you're late. You'll get there when you get there.
Dress how you are comfortable. If that means your favorite sneakers that clash horribly with your favorite pants, so be it. Think of fashions through the years. With the changing decades, pop culture has vacillated back and forth between approving of pants so tight as to emperil the production of the next generation to pants so loose that the wearer must walk like he's got some kind of skeleto-muscular deformity just to keep the things from dropping to his ankles. Hang in there long enough and your orange sneakers and red pants will come into style.
It all balances out. The former style enhanced the business of fertility clinics and the latter gave a boost to chiropractors.
Embrace the madness label. There is freedom in it. No longer are you required or expected to conform to society's rules and strictures. Now you can relax. Good for you.
The quirky people add spice to life. Now...the spice my son adds usually gives me indigestion, but it's a good spice nonetheless. ;)
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