Thursday, June 14, 2018

As It Turns Out ......

..... I am not paranoid, delusional, a few bricks shy of a load.  No, I am as normal as any life long stoner can be after 50 years of finding the Man right behind him whenever he turned around.  They are always there lurking in the shadows, taking notes and reporting back to their bosses who sport big scars on their cheeks and pencil thin mustaches.  You know, John Waters type mustaches.

Okay, okay, I may be light a few bricks and on occasion I have been known to fraternize with special friends no one else can see.  But I am not paranoid.

As proof, I offer up the Internet.  No better spy exists than the ga-jillion electronic devices hooked into a huge network of wires and computers, many of which are housed deep inside outward appearing non threatening locations like the local laundromat.  Just why have those washers along the back wall been "out of order" for the last 5 years.  Yeah, out of order my ass.

I usually keep my paranoid concerns to myself.  Those of us who know do not feel the need to share our paranoia because that is what leads to real time delusion of the type currently out of control on the Right side of the aisle.  No, the day opened up in predictable ways.  Constitutionals, pet feeding, coffee making.

And then I opened my phone.  And right there in the string of teasers on the outside screen, "Google Photos.  Here's what you missed."  The bastards had invaded my phone and hijacked a personal Kodak Moment.

Since this particular Lady's Slipper had "disappeared" the day after I snapped its picture, my first rational thought was, "I get it.  This is proof of life and there will be a ransom demand written in those irritating random Google letters that will tell me what bridge to drop the money off of."  I quickly tamped down the irrational thoughts that were beginning to boil over by refusing to run around the house closing blinds and locking doors. 

I am sure Google will inform me, should I bother to ask them, that I am hallucinating and it is just a grand coincidence the plant disappeared just as its image appeared in one of their emails.

I wish I was hallucinating.  That would make all this "Deep State" bullshit easier to deal with.

Don't turn around ..................................................


PipeTobacco said...

Very interesting orchid! Native or planted? Paranoid thoughts are indeed worrisome. Mine are typically about folks I know sugeasting suggesting that I am a bigger failure than I already know I am.

PipeTobacco said...

"Sugeasting"?!?! I have no idea where the hell that came from. My apologies.

Ol'Buzzard said...

Just because you are paranoid, doesn't mean they are not watching you.
the Ol'Buzzard