Tuesday, January 20, 2015
The State of the Union
The President pauses and looks up at the peanut gallery for just one friendly face. He finds none. So he looks back at his teleprompter. He sees the words so carefully crafted, polished and contrived to convince the citizens he is on top of it all. He shakes his head and a slight grin forms at the corners of his mouth.
"My fellow Americans ......... Once a year at least, my job as your president is to come down here to the hallowed halls of Congress to make a speech. I would rather not be here, but being here is a requirement of my job. It is actually written in the Constitution that I show up. I have this speech set up on the teleprompter. It is about the State of the Union. It is my take on where this country is now, where it was last year, and where it is headed in the near future. Once I have hit all the bullet points, you will know what we as Americans should be concerned with. The economy, jobs, taxes, and because it is just 24 hours since MLK Day, I suppose I ought toss out few thoughts on race and content of character crap."
The President pauses once again. This pause is expected. It allows the audience time to fulfill their obligation to applause after every paragraph Instead there is silence. Nothing. The President looks out and sees the wide eyed look of astonishment on every face in the room. His grin turns to a full blown smile.
"But I know you don't want to hear it. What you should be concerned with sucks hind tit to what really concerns you. You would much rather worry about deflated footballs, what Katy Perry will wear at Super Bowl halftime and will Lenny Kravitz show wearing his classic mirrored sunglasses. And of course there is the possible cut of Taylor Swift from Triple J's Hot 100 list. This would indeed be tragic and affect all of us for at least the next 5 seconds.
Another pause. Another moment of silence. The President sweeps the room with his eyes.
"So I won't stand up here and bore you with what I think is important to us as Americans. You already know what is important. All you need is a twitter account and a few apps to fill you in on that. Worrying about the ethics of our sports teams weighs heavier on your minds than the shady dealings in the smoke filled back rooms of this building."
The President doesn't pause this time. He pushes forward and his smile fades.
"I just do not care anymore as it has become grossly apparent that you don't care either. The state of the union is a mess and you only have yourselves to blame. Thank you very much and go fuck yourselves."
The President steps back. He raises his hand as if to wave and then turns his hand and flips everyone there the finger and walks out.
Later Gator ...................................................