Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Uncomfortably Numb

Well we're on the home stretch. The last month of the year. If we had goals we haven't met yet, there's less than a month now to get it right. Kick it through the uprights. Whatever it might be.

Looking back at last January, I actually made plans. That in itself was a milestone. Wrote down some things I wanted to accomplish, to change. More than just a token gesture, I started the year full of piss and vinegar. Each passing month wore me down. Each month nibbling away at what enthusiasm was left until there was no enthusiasm left. I maybe didn't do my best. I at least thought about doing my best anyway. That should count for something.

Each month ended and the list got shorter. Either I blew another unrealistic goal off, or I made progress. Seems blowing off the high expectations became easier as we worked our way from then to now. But there have been some high lights. A few things I can look myself in the eye and say, "Yeah dude, you da man."

Okay, so I can take a moment and be satisfied instead of the normal, "Oh Well, better luck next time you flounder". But the moments I have that make me grin with satisfaction dim when held up to the goals still gathering dust. Yeah, it is December and right now I am just happy to finish the day and say -

"Today was a good day."

The days, weeks of 2009 have taken their toll. For eight months I fought the good fight at the bike shop. I wanted to be in better shape financially and did not want to take on any new debt. I succeeded in both endeavors. I owe less than I did a year ago. The victory though rings a tad hollow given the sad prospects over the next few months. I seem to burn out sooner now than before. Loving what I do has transformed into doing what I have to. But -

"Today was a Good Day."

I hoped to ride more this year. I'll call it a wash. I at least rode as much as last year, so -

"Today was a Good Day".

I know I started this post as a filler post using that go to when nothing else comes to mind - Music. What it does for me and what it might do for you should you dare to listen to what I am hearing right now. In recognition of what got me started tonight I offer these two juicy tunes.





Image from Anna Bonnevier, a fashion designer - It has absolutely nothing to do with the post. I just liked the image.

Get out there and mix it up..................

3 comments:

Beach Bum said...

Is it too early to hope like Hell things might be better next year for us all? Or am I setting myself up for an even earlier disappointment?

Screw it, Here is hoping for the best anyway.

sunshine said...

I can't even remember what goals I set for myself at the beginning of this year.
I think it was something to do with being "Fab at 40". Hmmm well, that came and went. Without me being "fab". :P
This was a tough year for us with my mother in law battling breast cancer but she and us.. made it through.
It was a good day. :D

((Hugs))
Laura

Randal Graves said...

Maybe you should have drank more vinegar. Failing that, ingested more salt and vinegar chips.

I never set conscious goals because I know I'll never keep them. Thankfully, I've got the ever-present subconscious goal of 'be more lazy.'

It'll be a good day if I finish this stupid paper.