D. Hard Swallow

Last Saturday, I went to the 8th Annual "Jeezum Crow Festival" at the Stateside Amphitheater located at Jay Peak Ski Resort up yonder in northern Vermont. It was quite a road trip for me as I have made it my goal to not wander far from my home toilet in recent years.

All I had to do was make it to my daughter's house and the rest of day and night I was allowed to be as loose as I wanted. Mr. Man and Lis took over and baby sat. It was great. They were great, I was grateful. The Day was one of the best of my life in recent memory.

We arrived around 2:00 PM. The first act, "Soulshine Revival" were into the back half of their set. We found our spots to set up the chairs. We sat down and enjoyed 8 hours of truly fine Bluegrass-ish, Country-ish, and Blues-ish picking and grinning. There was not a band I did not enjoy. 

While the second band, Sicard Hollow was setting up, my daughter turned to me. Because of the ambient noise that is part and parcel of events such as this, combined with my old fart ears failing to clearly hear, what I heard actually shocked me for a moment.  My daughter is no prude and has an expert grip on the complete range of obscenities that float through and around the American lexicon. But when I heard her say "Dick Hard Swallow", well, that rudely brought me out of my Pot edible/alcohol haze. 

I asked her, "Did you just say 'Dick Hard Swallow' "? 

She busted out laughing. And maybe she was also a little surprised that I also said those words. She was just telling me the name of the band that was setting up at that moment. Their name is "Sicard Hollow", but from now on until the end of time, they will be "Dick Hard Swallow" whenever I think of them. They are very good and don't deserve such a name, but well, sometimes its a cross a band has to swallow.

It was a great time. Once I sat down around 2:00 PM, I didn't move for 8 hours. I was hoping to not have to hit the head and I almost made it. But around 10:00 PM, I knew I had to hit the toilets ASAP.

My growing insistent call of nature had finally turned into an ugly inner turmoil of panic and promises from within that should I forego use of a toilet, things would most definitely get ugly. I stood up, stepped around my chair and almost fell backward down the hill. People jumped to save me and I imagine some jumped to escape. But as it turned out, my body was only fooling. With a smile and a "I got this"gesture, I stumbled up the hill to the ski lodge where the toilets were. I am sure the folks downstream from me had they known of the horror show of what might have been, would share my relief that I did not become a boulder with arms and legs gathering steam as I crushed and left them in my wake. .... You're welcome.

Damn, getting old sucks.

______________________________

Because I had fun mangling their name, I figured I should hi-lite "Sicard Hollow" with a musical number of theirs. Here is their tune live in Nashville, "Grass is Greener"

These dudes rock! ............ But to me, they forever will be "Dick Hard Swallow".

Sorry dudes.