Saturday, March 12, 2016

Loss

In a few minutes I will take a break from writing this to dig a hole in the backyard as I have done all too many times before.  I will take some time to pick just the right spot, as if it will make a difference and somehow allow her to lay comfortably in the afternoon sun, the morning sun or out of the wind that often blows tirelessly over our hilltop.

Somehow finding the right resting place is important in my grieving process.  In my mind I know it matters little what I do with her physical remains.  But in my heart, picking the right piece of ground brings me some small comfort and eases my pain if only for a moment or two.

As I plunge the spade into the ground and scoop out the earth, each shovel full will bring with it a memory of our 13 years together.  And with each shovel full of dirt, I will come closer to accepting the notion that she will be truly gone from my life, ....... from this life.

I will shed tears.  I always do.  The little bastards always manage to find their way into my heart, even as I deal with their inevitable accidents and stupid pet tricks.

But the time has come.  Prolonging her life at this point is not doing it for her.  It is prolonging it for me and my wife.  Her suffering must end, and today is the day.

R.I.P Stub, I will miss you.

11 comments:

Nasreen Iqbal said...

So sorry to hear this happened. I hope you find the right spot for him.

JACKIESUE said...

that breaks my heart as I know it breaks yours..I'm so very sorry..

Tao Dao Man said...

Sorry for your loss.
I love dogs more than people.
I am sure she had a good life with you in this life.
After the one passes that I have now, I doubt I will ever have another.
But, we will all meet again.

mohaverat said...

I share your pain my friend..

robin andrea said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Stub looks like she was a wonderful, sweet, lovable companion. Yes, may she rest in peace.

MRMacrum said...

Thank you all for your kind words. Life goes on. Death is a necessary part of its circle. I will always remember Stubbe with a smile. She was a sweetheart.

Ol'Buzzard said...

About two years ago we lost our cat of eighteen years together: I know your pain.
Best wishes
the Ol'Buzzard

Kulkuri said...

It's hard to let go of a pet that's been part of the family for a long time. What's harder still is when people start asking right away when are you going to get another one? They don't seem to realize you need time to adjust before getting another pet.

BBC said...

Never an enjoyable thing to deal with.

Carla Ganiel said...

Sorry for your loss.

The Blog Fodder said...

Somehow we grieve for the animals in our life when we lose them more than we grieve for people, or perhaps differently. Burying beloved pets is no easy chore but it does ease the pain a little to know it is done right. Sending you a hell of a big hug.