Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Whew!

Well I guess we dodged a bullet and I got myself some new underwear I didn't need.  Harold Camping now insists his prediction of the Rapture beginning on May 21st, 2011 was but a snafu in his interpretative calculations and that October 21, 2011 will encompass both The Rapture and The End.  I have to say, it certainly seems to be a more efficient use of World ending power to just do it once, get it over with, and move on to the next planet full of fornicators, blasphemers, and deviants.  I am guessing God did not get to the lofty position he sits in by wasting his time with installment plan destruction.  Smite once and move on, it's a big Universe.

Now that I have completely ruined any chance of making the Rapture Elevator, I figured I would take a look around the planet to see what the blissfully ignorant teeming masses did once the grand event did not unfold as Harold indicated it would.  Was there a collective sigh of relief echoing across the oceans?  Were there screams of disappointment that once more God failed to live up to the promises his prophets had made?

No on both counts.  Collectively, Mankind did not even blink an eye.  Sunday morning came and it was business as usual.  Fornicators fornicated, Blasphemers blasphemed (not sure if that is a word, but hey who cares), and the knee benders showed up pew side as usual to pay deep respects for a God they know is watching.......................SSDD. 

But one person apparently was MIA.  Seems Harold, the man who stirred up this recent End of Days scenario, was keeping his head down.  I am trying my hardest to be somewhat sympathetic to the many people who divested themselves of their worldly goods and obligations in anticipation of being included in the group of 200 million chosen to go topside.  They woke up on Sunday, May 22, 2011 and their cars were re-poed or being re-poed.  The bank computers were busy churning out all kinds of past due notices these poor unfortunates will be facing in the coming weeks.  Their kids will have to make friends all over again.  And I imagine dealing with such a complete let down of faith and belief will take some time to get over. 

As I said, I am trying hard to find some sympathy for them.  Failing that I started looking for some pity.  That cupboard was bare also.  So I tried to laugh at them and I couldn't.  They did not get what they asked for.  But they surely got what they deserved for allowing themselves to be led down the garden path.

Later.......................................

8 comments:

Ol'Buzzard said...

My wife took me to bed and I raptured - and so did she. WOW!

the Ol'Buzzard

Kulkuri said...

At least his followers didn't castrate themselves and commit suicide like those in SoCal did some years back hoping to hitch a ride on the spaceship behind the comet or maybe it was on the comet itself!! All Camping's believers lost was their worldly goods and maybe their jobs if they quit in anticipation of the "Rapture".

YELLOWDOG GRANNY said...

I said I was waiting for the Goddess, she promised beer.

BBC said...

Oh hell, a man always needs some new underwear at times anyway.

Maybe the best thing to do is just laugh at them.

The Blog Fodder said...

Maybe the Rapture DID occur but only Buddhists, Hindus and Muslims made the cut?

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

...new underwear I didn't need... a more efficient use of World ending power to just do it once... installment plan destruction...

Oh my heavens. Pure comedy gold, Mike.

I was planning a trip for November, but now I'm not sure if I should bother.

Randal Graves said...

If only these end-timers were as entertaining as Marshall Applewhite.

squatlo said...

Camping now says he was off by a few months... prepare to meet thy doom in October this time.

What a douche...