Saturday, June 20, 2009

A Conquering Hero

Here we have our intrepid hero contemplating his world as he is about to engage in dangerous warfare. Close combat weapons are secure in their scabbards and his trusty and lethal cultivator is firmly grasped. He knows he is as ready as he can be. He understands the risks of this next expedition. He knows he will come up against mantraps, IEDs hidden in small holes that will erupt without warning and flying shrapnel will sting him. Thorn ridden sinews will reach for his tender parts and attempt to shred him to pieces. His opponents have determination and endless resources to bring to their defense.

But our hero knows he has been living in fear for too long. The insidious invasion that started so long ago has reached a tipping point. He can no longer sit idly by while the enemy encroaches and claims more and more of his once grand land. They have shown their disdain for the borders he set up so long ago. Their only goal is to bury him. He knows that now. They have awakened the sleeping fat guy from his sloth like existence. There will be death and destruction. And it will not be his.

The battle waged was ugly. Evil deeds were committed by both sides. But on this day our hero prevailed. And though the War has only begun, he has sent a strong message to his opponents. He will not be overwhelmed. He will not give up one more square foot of land. He will drive them out. He has proven he can sink to their level and give as good as he gets, no matter how much of his blood is spilled.

A nervous truce has been called while both sides fall back and re-group for the next big encounter. While the savages of the jungle hunker down and peek out from the fringes of their territory, they will notice our hero has erected funeral pyres built with the flesh of their fallen comrades. He will let them rot there as a reminder of what he has planned for those still surviving. And one night when the mist hangs heavy in the air, he will touch a flame to their rotting flesh. Flames made up of their friends and family will reach for the sky. Our hero will paint his face with their ashes and do a little dance.

War is always ugly. But sometimes it is the only way Peace can be found.
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Figured at least some kind of post was in order just to let those who care know I am still here and have not completely forgotten or given up on my blog. Bear with me. I will return with a vengeance at some point.

Later........................

(414)

5 comments:

Demeur said...

God Crum that's absolutely poetic. Could not have done a better job myself.

So our hero returns to his lair to lick the wounds of battle and fill out the necessary reports. In preparing for the next scurmish be mindful of one group called "Blackberry". They are said to be quite the adversary, slashing their foe with savage disreguard.

Randal Graves said...

That was inspiring. Now I feel like joining the march to the Holy Land or at least my backyard.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Crum - great to hear from you! The yard looks great. Love the funeral pyre.

You may have mentioned this before, but if you haven't or if I've just missed it, how big is your property?

MRMacrum said...

Demeur - Up here "Blackberry's' cousin, "Razzberry" does it's best to guard the paths. But it is really the Wild Rose that is large and in charge. It has thorns that will literally open you up. I have already removed at least 20 of them and there are hundreds more to go. But after almost 30 years of dealing with them, I have it figured out. Even so, it is never pleasant.

Randal - Not sure what drives us humans to tame everything within view, but there it is. I tried to let the jungle alone. But like humans, it also seems intent on conquering anything in it's way. Same idea, different approach.

El Cerdo Ignatius - Seems back in the day when surveyors had not placed their stamp on the land around here, my property was listed as 3 acres +/-. Now that we have been mapped, logged, and identified from Outer Space, the town has me down for 1.75 acres.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Seems back in the day when surveyors had not placed their stamp on the land around here, my property was listed as 3 acres +/-. Now that we have been mapped, logged, and identified from Outer Space, the town has me down for 1.75 acres.

Proof positive that modern technology sucks.

Still, I am thankful my yard is nowhere near 1.75 acres in need of taming. My city lot of 0.21 acres (75' x 120') is sufficient.