Tuesday, November 27, 2007

My Barbie Collection - A Labor of Love

My Barbie Collection - Side Show #2

My recent immersion into the world of internet retail has driven home the fact that this World is not just beginning to shrink. It has already shrunk. The Internet has accomplished that which countless conquering hordes over thousands of years have failed to do. Turned the Globe into one huge 'Hood. With access to a computer plugged into the WWW, everyone starts out equal.

As I cruise through the millions of items for sale from all over the World on Ebay, I realize that Capitalism has won. Humans just love it. Comes natural I guess, given our predisposition to be selfish. The fine art of Yankee Trading has taken on a decided international twist. Billions hit the internet ether daily to sell their wares, buy their wares, or just check out the latest in Barbie & Ken evening wear.

Trolls being bought by folks in Dubai. Old school Skateboards shipped to some odd address in th old USSR. First Edition Game boys wait by the thousands for some horny collector to move them to their digs to gather dust in a new locale. 300,000 Baseball Card Collectors all trying to buy or sell a mint condition Boog Powell Rookie Card. Infinite numbers of items infinite numbers of people are buying and selling. Every damn day. 24/7. If it was made once, it will be sold on Ebay.

And don't even look at the Barbie section. People are crazy about Flippin Barbies. Finding that complete Malibu Barbie set has become so popular Barbie has her very own special dedicated category in Ebay. This idealized and immortalized vision of the perfect white bread bimbo is traded, swapped, and bought with such regularity, Barbies have become a commodity. The doll every girl I knew back in the day just had to have 15 or 20 of.

I used to help Snake set his sister's Barbies up for certain catstrophe by fire or various methods of demolishment. And to think we were probably destroying Cher's potential retirement cushion. We must have set at least 5 or 6 on fire. Used a few for target practice with that new bow and arrow set up Snake got one Christmas. Once we decided to see just what type of bullet would actually take Barbie out. A Standard Daisy BB gun or did it take a 22 long. Barbie laughed at the Daisy and it's puny attempt to compromise her smooth whatever white girl exterior. She did not fare so well with the 22 though.

I have now successfully navigated the various channels, networks and jumped through all the proper hoops in order to become that next big Ebay Entreprenuer. So of course my darling signifigant other has tasked me with the joyous labor of finding a home for all that flotsam and jetsam 27 years of marriage has forced into our lives. She created a small pile of useless to us now stuff too valuable to toss,Goodwill, or put out on a table in the yard on a nice hoy July Day. An experimental pile of stuff. Test the waters pile of stuff.

Lis' old Troll collection, 7 Original Version Game Boy games without instructions but still sitting cozy in their trunsluscent plastic snap cases. A pair of white figure skates she wore once. They are all organized photographed, and the listings completed and waiting to be uploaded. Must be $20 worth of stuff there. Only took me 5 hours to work out the details.

It is bound to get easier as I wade through the mountains of gold tucked away gathering dust in closets, the attic, and the basement. Surely the time spent will deliver me and those I love to economic stability. Lift us out of that financial uncertainty and into a new Hummer.

Regardless, my time spent trying to shake some change from some pockets and at the same time open up new corners to clutter in the future is time better spent than arguing with some flounder about just how much Bush sucks or doesn't suck.

1 comment:

Noah said...

Dude. I'm in ties! You busted a cap in Barbie's ass.