Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Life is Not For Enduring

My previous post, I shared my recent mishaps on my new mountain bike.  From the comments I received, it appears I am not acting my age, or acting in a sane manner because I insist on riding past my skill set level.

 JACKIESUE told me to "stay the fuck off the bike".

 Mohaverat opined about how I will pay for my loose dog ways on a bike when I get older.

Hmm ................

Maybe not every day, but often enough, a burned in image passes through the re/viewer in my brain.   An image of what I could become if I did not push every limit I have left.  I watched my mother give in to the accrued ravages of her life and basically become an invalid the last 10 years she was alive.   The arthritis she fought most of her life finally won and she became a hunchback old lady who stopped doing anything.  Too much pain to fight it, she said.

I have a similar situation rearing its ugly head myself.  And now that I am facing the same decade of life she gave up on, I use her shriveled up painful countenance to spur me to stay active even if it hurts.  And some days, just getting out of bed can be a struggle.  But then anyone who is 64 and up certainly knows what that is all about.

This past winter my weakened immune system let some heebie jeebie get a grip on me and I became another piece of furniture in the house for a month and a half.  Once I started to feel better, I worked up a new agreement with myself.  I was going to do what made me happy as long as I could.  Screw the pain or long term negatives that may result.  I only have so many bike rides left and I plan on pushing the ones I have left as far as I can.   I may not be fast anymore, but I can still test the edge of what abilities I have left.  Some pain I understand is a lot easier to deal with than the day to day chronic crap that fills up more of my waking time on this planet.

I still want to live Life, not just endure it.

Later ..................................................

8 comments:

Nan said...

Amen. In the words of my favorite musician, it's better to burn out than it is to rust.

MRMacrum said...

Nan - Another Neil Young fan. Excellent.

JACKIESUE said...

you can ride your bike on safe roads..do what you love but dirt roads or bike trails could find yourself sitting on your ass permanently..I still do stuff I want to..I may be up all fucking night long with leg cramps..but I still do it..

Nasreen Iqbal said...

This was oddly inspirational. I didn't expect that.

"Rage against the dying of the light" or something like that.

PipeTobacco said...

Mike: I admire your resolve and attitude! Keep pushing the limits! I think is is very healthy a way to live and wish I did It more myself.

MRMacrum said...

JACKIESUE - Actually I did appreciate your comment on my other post. It typifies the response many of us get when someone not involved in what we do looks at our activities through their own lenses. Mountain biking as opposed to riding on the road is overall, a much safer activity. My accidents in the woods are dependent on me and my abilities more than relying on the specious control of strangers in 4000 Lb. metal boxes. Although I have had a couple of near misses with moose and deer.

Nasreen Iqbal - Absolutely.

Pipe Tobacco - You are pushing limits I cannot seem to. My pushing limits are restricted to intermediate moments scattered throughout my week. You seem to have found a way to push yours everyday, what with the 5 miles/day thing you have followed rigorously for at least several years now. If anyone is someone I should emulate, it is you.

Kulkuri said...

You're right, if you don't use it, you lose it!!

Ol'Buzzard said...

James Lee Burke said it best:
it's only Rock and Roll
Everyone dies
Go with the flow
and try to have a few laughs

I made my first solo parachute jump when I turned seventy. I am on the down side of seventy now and haven't given up on making another jump sometimes in the future. Aches and pains: sure; but you are only here once and there is no retake. I make love as often as my wife will let me, drink whiskey, smoke dope, and push the limit at every opportunity. They say when you die your life passes in front of your face: I want mine to be a double feature.
keep on trucking
the Ol'Buzzard