Following Butterflies

When the adults in my childhood wanted to inject themselves into my world, they all seemed to have the same quiver of ice breakers they would pull conversation starters out of to initiate an interaction.  " Hi, what is your name?"  or Well now, aren't you growing like a weed?"  

The question that I remember as probably the dumbest question an adult could ask was, " What do you want to be when you grow up?"  When I first had to field this question I had not even gotten my head around the concept of "growing up".  I was still struggling with the notion of simply existing.  But like most kids, I wanted to please the adults in my life, so I would hem and haw for a a time and if they did not offer a suggestion I could jump on board with, I would say something like, a cowboy, a jet pilot, and sometimes an Indian  At the age of say 6, what I wanted to be depended on what I was into that week.

I never did find anything I wanted to be when I grew up.  Oh sure I flirted with this or that career choice in my mind, but when it came to doing something about it, I just fell back on my struggle to simply exist.  My road to where I am now was not a clean, straight run.  I followed butterflies.  Not one career, but several mini ones were used to pay my way.  Not one of them though did I ever feel was a true calling.  When I became tired of one butterfly, I would find another.

My road wandered aimlessly with no destination in sight.  There was always another butterfly around the next corner and there always will be.

Later...........................................